Well, as some critics of mine might say- hell has frozen over… or the fat lady has song her melodic tune… or, more specifically, Emily Gedert did not get what she wanted. I must admit, and if you are reading this, please do not read this in an arrogant tone; I do normally get what I want. Whether I get into my top college choice or I get to go shopping when I feel the need, I have grown up in a privileged life style. Luckily, the way I have grown up, I try not to take it for granted and I have chosen a career in which I hope to give back to my community and change the world one student at a time.
I cannot say that I have always consciously wanted to become a teacher. I had broad notions of becoming famous either on Broadway or your local news station. Through a series of odd events and, as I like to believe, destiny, I have since discovered that I will be famous… just in a different way, through a different medium- the classroom. Which this decision coming late, I worked 17-18 credit semesters and took tedious summer classes and am proud to admit that I graduated on time, even having time to join a sorority, meet my future bridesmaids, help run a theater company, and begin what has now turned into a long term relationship boyfriend.
With my love life and my friends all in order, fate has decided to throw me quite the curve ball: the summer is done, today was the first day of the school year, and I sit here, at my second favorite Starbucks, in my fabulous tan short sleeve wrap sweater, JOBLESS. This was not the start of my “real” life that I had hoped.
When I graduated in May, I knew it would be tough to find a job, especially a full-time teaching job, in Michigan. How could I NOT know? At every graduation ceremony, ritual, and speech I attended, EVERY speaker let us know that basically we chose the wrong year to graduate. Also, I did my student teaching with a 16-year veteran teacher who was worried if she would be keeping her job in the fall! With the recession in full-swing, despite of what some analysts are saying, I knew that this would be a rough search.
But still…
I craved a teaching job… I ached for it… I do not think that I have ever wanted anything so badly.
And I didn’t get it.
The thing that maybe makes it worse: I know that I’m going to be a great teacher. I know it.
I’m just going to have to be patient.
The funny thing is, as many of you know, I am not a crier. I normally save that for those big, surprising life-altering moments, which until now have been deaths of family or friends of the family.
I’ve become a crier.
Now, I don’t cry in front of everyone… just Barret. Poor guy. My loving boyfriend gets to deal with my sobbing at the most random times.
After a particularly long night of not being able to get comfortable and tears and gasps of breath, I finally realized that enough is enough.
I didn’t get the job. I have to be okay with this, because this is the circumstance that I find myself in. I really think that this year is going to be a wake up call for me… a wake up call from my adult life giving me some time to grow up.
I’m going to take this year for what it is worth. Enjoy the little things, sub as much as I can stand, save all of my money, stay healthy… and, perhaps, most importantly, find peace in my life.
After all, once I start teaching, that is what I am going to be doing for the rest of my life… at least, that is what I think is going to happen. Sure through some travel, a wedding, and baby or two… but this can be my year of some sort of self-discovery… find out who I am and who I can become when faced with things NOT going my way.
So that is how I’m going to start off this blog. I hope to keep it up… But I always tend to start these things and then I quickly get over the novelty of the whole thing and blow it off. So…
Cheers… to not getting what I wanted! Let’s hope for the best!
xx
E
